School's started

Forgive me for not updating more. I've had internet off and on due to various reasons, so I haven't been online as regularly. Also, life's already gotten busy, so I haven't had time to post much. This will be pretty brief, but I just wanted to say that school has started and so far is going very well. I am loving all my classes so far!! Yes, I am such a nerd. But all of them will be so interesting I think, even though they all include a lot of work.

Spiritually, God's been teaching me a lot and breaking me a lot. I'm learning a lot about being at the end of myself and my strength. But that's when God's strongest, right? I pray it is so, because I feel I have so little left to give.

May God bless you all.

Dorm life!

Hey everyone! I am back on my college campus and beginnng the process of setting up my dorm room. It is fabulous to be back! It's really nice to be back in my own special room. :-) And it's been great to see so many of my best friends again! It's been over three months since I've seen most of them, so I'm really excited. Kirstin's here, and we've gotten to hang out some--yay for late night shopping trips to Super Wal-Mart! And Melissa is here--we're excited that she's now just a few halls away! And I got to see Rachel--the new bride! I will be making her show me all her wedding pictures soon. And of course, Christina will be getting in tomorrow, which will rock my face off. :-)

I won't make this super long for now. I don't have my internet connection up in my room yet, so I'm borrowing a friend's computer. Hopefully this will be remedied soon! Most of my stuff is here except for the stuff I stored with my friend Amber. Hehe, I didn't have sheets last night, so I got to sleep on Kirstin's sleeping bag! And now I don't have a towel...so I'm trying to decide if I should shower and, if so, how I should dry off. Hmm...the questions of dorm life!

Back to school

Super quick note: just wanted to tell everyone that I head off tomorrow to help move Crystal into her dorm and to move back into my own dorm as well. I will write more once I get there! I'm super excited to be going back. :-)

God is so beautiful and so good; I pray he blesses each of you in a special, precious way today! My love to all of you, and especially to my family.

Trivial Pursuit

Today's simply been a nice day. We had a good worship service at my grandparents church, a nice lunch together with my cousins, and then a nice afternoon at home. Crystal and I had a good time to talk this afternoon, too; and we got to watch a Shirley Temple movie tonight! I love Shirley Temple movies--they're so cute!

Today in the sermon at church, my grandparents' pastor was talking about something God's been teaching me a lot about lately: how are we living our lives? Are we living it for the small, meaningless things? Or are we truly branching out and living bold, loving, and sacrificing lives? Are we truly making God our first, most important, and most urgent priority? I'm so tired of living a life of complacency. I saunter towards God when I should run my heart out after him. I casually read his word when I should be soaking it up, studying it, and memorizing it. I occasionally throw up prayers to Heaven when I should be praying constantly, fervently, and with passion. I say I'm a Christian when I really should live like a Lover of God, a Follower of Christ. I want to know my God like he intended me to; I want to live the life he's always dreamed for me. I want my life to count. I want to live for the best God has for me--and I don't want to be satisfied with less than that.

In short, I'm tired of trivial pursuit. I'm ready to pursue God.

Just a fun little day

Well, today's been a slow, but fun, day. Crystal and I basically hung around the house this morning, and then at 1:30, my three cousins came over. We took them (Noel, 12, Kaleb, 10, and Seth, 9) to go see a movie called Sky High. It's a Disney movie, and it was actually really cute! I liked it.

We came back to the house, and Noel, Kaleb, and Seth will be hanging around with us this weekend while their parents visit some friends nearby. Crystal got to go out this evening with some students who used to attend her church in Malaysia, and then I took Noel out for a secret run to Sonic for some girl talk. :-) It's been fun!

I started reading in the book of Luke today, and I was reading about Mary's response to Gabriel's announcement that she would bear a child: she said, "I am the Lord's servant, and I am willing to accept whatever he wants." I know that can be hard to say in my own life, especially when what God's asking is hard or painful to do/deal with. But are we willing to do it, even when it's hard, simply because we're his servants, and because it's what he wants? Just some thoughts.

Have a blessed day!

I don't want to be just a flame

Hey peoples! Been a few days since I updated, so I decided it was about time. The last several days have been really great! I've had opportunities to spend time with friends, family, and a new friend who just arrived from Malaysia! It's been spiffy. Here are my week's highlights:

Monday--Christina!! I got together with my friend Christina, this majorly awesome girl, for lunch on Monday, and we talked for hours about our summers and what we were looking forward to for this semester. She is such an amazing friend! I'm really excited about where God will be taking our friendship this semester. Our time was totally a blessing to me.

Tuesday--Aunt Kay and I had lunch and talked about my summer and about some changes and plans she and her family are going through. Again, it was a really great time just to talk and be encouraged.

Wednesday--got to go visit Lance in Ft. Worth, and it was good to spend time with him.

Thursday--my new friend from Malaysia arrived late that evening. Her name is Crystal, and she'll be starting at my college this semester. She's only 16, and she's come all the way to the US for college without many friends or family here in Texas! That's courage. She is an absolutely sweet girl, and I'm sure you'll be hearing more about her. :-)

Friday--ooh, that'd be today! Basically Crystal and I spent some time talking and hanging out, and then I drove us to the mall (I was SO proud of myself!) for lunch and some time to window shop. We ate supper with my grandparents...and that's about it!

My granddad is helping Crystal and me move into our dorm rooms on Tuesday, so that will be exciting.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the type of person God would have me to be. As I think I've said, one of my biggest prayers is that God won't let me settle for less than his best for me this semester. As I was driving with my aunt on Tuesday, a song by Ginny Owens was playing in her CD player. The chorus to the lyrics really hit me, and it expressed so much of what was in my heart. I think the song's title is "I Wanna Be Moved," and the chorus goes as follows:

And I don't wanna be a flame
I wanna be a raging fire!
Tired of my will, my way,
Your calling's higher
Oh, I know it's time I stopped running from the Truth
So I'll stand here, still,
Until I'm filled
I wanna be moved
I wanna be moved by You.

I love that first line: I don't wanna be a flame. I've so often heard people say they want to be a flame that burns brightly for Christ...well, there's nothing wrong with that, and I admire people who truly pray that. But I asked myself: why stop there when we can be a raging fire? And then the third and forth lines: how awesome to truly be tired of my will, my way, because God's calling really is so much higher! I think once we really become tired of ourselves and reach for the higher calling of God...well, that's when I think he can start to truly move us. I pray that God would continue to help me reach and live for his highest every day.

I want that kind of life, always reaching beyond myself to God's way, his will, his calling. I want to be moved. And I certainly don't want to be just a flame. How about you?

Two poems

These are short poems I wrote while on the tsunami relief trip. They aren't really masterpieces, but perhaps they will touch you anyways.

Beauty from Ashes

Pain too deep for words
Loss I can’t comprehend
A world that has been shattered
A beauty forever lost
A “why?’ that can never be answered
And yet as I look at the devastation
I marvel at all that remains
The broken pieces hurt
In a world gone up in flames
But as the ashes scatter to the wind
I watch them as they fly away
And I see in the sky a beauty waiting to be born
The sweetest joy comes from bitterest pain
Songs of praise can come from weeping
And You will give joy again

Faces of the Children

In a world made desolate
The faces of the children reveal the future
Their smiles are filled
With the promise of laughter
Their eyes sparkle
With the promise of hope
Behind their chatter
One hears the promise of song
They still view the world with wonder
Though they have seen more of its pain than most
As they run and play
A promise of life is born
They have lost family, lost love, lost joy
But the spirit of the child lives on
Promising a people with a trust in all things good
Faith, hope, and love
Joy, innocence, and trust
The child’s heart holds all
For in a world made desolate
The faces of the children reveal the future

While in Singapore, my family and I got to see Wyndi, Jarod, and Cody on their way through Singapore on the way back to the US. We met them at the airport and took them out to eat before putting them back on a plane. It was great to see them again! This was us outside of the awesome restaurant we ate at. (Clockwise from top: me, Wyndi, Cody, and Jarod) 

Pictures from 3 days in Singapore

Here's Lindsay and me in Singapore when we got to stop off at Swensons for an ice-cream treat...it was really good, too! 

This was Lindsay and me in Singapore just a day before I left to come back to the States. My time with my family was very sweet! And I love my baby sister, who I think is beautiful in every way. 

Pictures from my 3 week trip

While on my trip to the tsunami-affected area, I took this picture at the beach one day at sunset. It was amazing how a land that had been made so desolate still had so much beauty! I truly believe God is giving beauty for ashes there, and he will give the people joy instead of mourning. One day, instead of weeping, I believe songs of praise to God will fill the air. 

This is me and a 12 year old girl named Siska who I met in one of the villages through the kids program. She is one of the dearest girls I know. I only saw her twice, but it was so sad to say goodbye. She said if I left she would not have any more joy, but when I promised her I would pray for her every day, she beamed and said she would really like that. 

This is me and Wyndi with several of the children we got to work with in the kids program. They were all precious!  

This was me with Rini's family my last night in the area. They invited me over to eat with them before I left. It was so heart-rending to say goodbye, but I promised I would be back. The people in these picture are all so dear to me! 

This was Wyndi and me the second night we stayed with Rini in the village...they drew henna on our hands! For those of you who don't know what henna is, it's like a dye you can use to draw on your skin that leaves a temporary tattoo, that can sometimes last up to two weeks. Our's lasted about 5 days. :-) But it was fun. We were told that traditionally the women there do this three days before they get married...but I promise that both Wyndi and I are still single. :-) 

This is me and Rini, the girl Wyndi and I spent a lot of time with. We got some awesome opportunities to love her and minister to her. This was the first night Wyndi and I got a chance to spend the night with Rini in the village, and this picture was taken that evening as we sat out under the stars on a dock over the river. Please pray for Rini; her heart is so soft, and she is so near to God 

This is outside a church that is still standing in the city I was in; we had a worship service there Sunday evenings for international people. This is me with the Texas team I worked with and "Aunt" Betsy, a dear, amazing lady who is serving and loving the people there right now. (Left-right: Jarod, Cody, Wyndi, "Aunt" Betsy, and me) 

A chance to breathe

Hey everyone! Phew, I made it: I am back in Texas! What a whirlwind last few days it has been. I had a great few days with my family in Singapore, and then they took me to the airport early one morning for my flight home (and I do mean EARLY, because I had to wake up at 3:30 AM!). It was very hard to say goodbye to all of them, but I am grateful I will get to see them all for Christmas. That's only about four months away! Which is so much better than not seeing them for 10 months, which is what I did last time. Anyways, the flight home went very well. I slept on and off during the entire 30-hour trip, and it actually went by faster than I expected. I did spend a couple of hours writing in my journal, writing down stories from the last month, especially my times in the tsunami-affected area. And then: I finally arrived back in Texas! I was met by my uncle and cousin...and by Wyndi and Cody! It was a great surprise, because they were in the area for a debriefing their organization was doing for all the summer groups that had been sent out, and they met me at the airport and suddenly asked: "Hey, do you want to come to debriefing with us?" And so that worked out, and I spent my first two days at a debriefing. It was good to talk over the experiences, discuss what it was like to come back into American culture after all we had seen over the summer, and to spend time with other groups who had been doing different things in different places this summer. It was great to see Wyndi, Jarod, and Cody again, even though we didn't get to spend a great deal of time just the four of us.

So then Saturday at noon, the debriefing ended, and we all said goodbye. It was a little sad, but we exchanged e-mails and I will get to see them in a few more weeks at another convention for Texas students. Jarod and Cody had to leave right after everything ended, but Wyndi and I got a chance to eat lunch and talk together before she left. Then I waited for my grandparents at the hotel...and it was so great to see them again! We came back to the house, and I got a chance to talk a lot about the summer and what God had been teaching me. That evening, Lance came over to visit, and we got to talk about a lot of different things. And then, exhausted, I crashed that night close to midnight.

Well...then I slept until 10:30 this morning. Which is pretty amazing for being jet-lagged, but at the same time, understandable because I've been running non-stop for the last...well, for the last month. I'm finally getting a chance to slow down and step back, to breathe, to evaluate and process everything I've been through. It's been good. I'm praying God will continue to work in me and never let me forget the things he taught me this summer. I'm also praying that he will do whatever it takes for me to know, obey, and love him better this semester at school. He is good, he is so faithful, he is so powerful, and he has so much love he wants to shower on us. May we be faithful to love in return.

I'm hoping to shortly post several pictures from the last month, so hopefully those will be up soon. May God bless you each in a special way this week.

This is the team of people I served most closely with in the tsunami-affected area: (left-right) Cody, Jarod, me, and Wyndi. They have become like family to me, and I'm so thankful for how God brought them into my life. 

Three weeks

21 days seems precious little time to have made any impact, and I can definitely say that any impact I was able to make was solely by the grace and power of God. The three weeks I spent in the tsunami-affected area were some of the most meaningful and awesome weeks of my life. It was a privilege to be a part of and see the work God is doing in people's lives. As a brief summary, some of the ministries I participated in included helping teach English to doctors and nurses at a hospital, helping out with a children's program that worked in several different areas/villages, visiting several people at a hospital, helping to start an English club at local high schools, and ministering to and loving people at a nearby village. While I loved all the opportunities God opened for me to participate in, my heart was mostly in the village we often visited and ministered in. I became especially close with one girl in particular, Rini, who lost her mother and several other family members in the tsunami. She is one of the sweetest girls I know, and her heart is very soft. I was blessed with many opportunities to talk with her about God's love and to minister to her with my partner, Wyndi. Wyndi had really established a great relationship with Rini as well, and both of us were invited to spend the night in Rini's "house," which is really a shack they've built out of scraps of wood they gathered after the tsunami. The three nights we got to spend with Rini and her family, sleeping on the floor with them, was a humbling and amazing experience. God opened many doors, and so many people there talked about how "different" Wyndi, Cody, Jarod, and I were from their image of what foreigners were like. It was a blessing to be able to tell them why we were different and why we loved them so much--only through the love of God. One night, Rini even asked me to play guitar for them; and the only songs I knew were praise and worship songs. So Wyndi and I sat and sang worship songs, in English, out under the stars in the village, in front of many of the people. That was pretty awesome, to be singing and proclaiming God's praises and truth over these people, even if they didn't understand all that we were singing. Anyways, over all, the whole experience was beautiful, and it was an honor and privilege to love these people and share the love of God with them.

God did so much in my own life as well. He taught me about how powerful he is and how he is always working for his glory. I think I had lost sight of God's power, but in those three weeks, I saw God do things that only he could have done. I was reminded of how powerful and awesome he is, and how much he loves and longs for the peoples of the world who don't know him. I felt myself refocused, and I realized very much that this was the kind of life I wanted to be living the rest of my days--a life of service before God, a life of daring and courage and love for the peoples that the Lord loves. The Lord did a great work in my life, drawing me back towards himself. He helped renew my love for him, my love for his word, my realization of the power of prayer, and my love for worship. He blessed me with some amazing relationships, particularly with the Texas team I worked with, Wyndi, Cody, and Jarod. These three students have such amazing hearts and have completely poured themselves into the people we worked with. They have a deep love for God and his work, and it was a privilege to know and serve with them. Wyndi particularly became like a sister to me because we worked together every day in many situations. I also met many other amazing people at the guest house we stayed at, other young adults who were loving and serving the people there. I also met local Christians who were incredible people that I am blessed to know.

I wish I could begin to explain the depth of the experience, how much I saw God do, and how much he did in me. Unfortunately, that might take a short book, and even then, words would fail me. All I can say is that God is good and amazing. It made me decide to not be satisfied with just an everyday life; there is far too much to do, far too much that God is doing. Living with God is like living on the edge, and there's no other place I'd rather be living. I want more than ever to be a sold-out servant of God, and I want more than ever to know God like I never have, to love him like I never have. There's so much more I could say...but all I can say is that it's amazing what three weeks can do in one's life.

Singapore

I’m in Singapore at the moment, and I randomly happened to pick up a wireless network signal here at the hotel we’re staying at. And voila! Here I am online. I thought I’d drop by to post a brief update. My family and I got here Sunday evening, and on Monday, we got to go by the airport to meet—surprise!—the Texas team I had worked with in the tsunami-affected area. The kind of situation we worked in really creates bonds between people, and these three students have become some of my closest friends now. It was wonderful to get to see them again after having worked with them for the last three weeks. I got to hear how their last few days were there, and we got to talk over some of our experiences together. My family and I took them out to eat, ran by a shop or two, and took them back to the airport for their flight back to the States. I’ll get to see them again in Dallas in a few days, hopefully, which will be really nice.

Since then, my family’s spent a lot of good time together; we’ve seen a couple of movies, done a little shopping, eaten at great restaurants, and just generally spent a lot of good time together. I really appreciated my family’s willingness and sacrifice in letting me go off for three weeks to help with tsunami-relief work, and I am really cherishing these last few days we have here together. My parents are both such wonderful people who give me living examples every day of what it means to love and serve the Lord. And my sister is one of the sweetest girls I know; I am so proud of the young woman she is becoming.

Well, that’s most of my news for now. I’m about to put up another post with a little more news about some of the work I did in the tsunami-affected area, so maybe that will give you a brief summary of those three weeks. Thanks so much for keeping up with me! I appreciate all your prayers and love. God bless!