The Author's Hands

I sat down last night to write in my journal, my heart full of turmoil. I was frustrated, discouraged, even despairing. And I began to try to pour out my heart and thoughts to God, to place some of my pain on the pages I wrote. But for some reason, after the first paragraph, I found myself, with no prior intention, writing off into a different vein. The following is what I wrote in my journal that night, and I hope that it might encourage you, wherever you are in your own life.

I think of how much writing seems to soothe me. There’s something I’ve always loved about filling the blank lines on a page, of feeling my pen run across the paper to create and leave behind thoughts, stories, and expressions that have never been. An empty page soon becomes a canvas for the soul, the lines like prison bars to firmly hold the thoughts that the human heart entrusts to them. It is beautiful; it is magic. To leave behind on each page a picture, a moment in time that can never be recreated. I find release in leaving behind a little of myself on the pages I write.

No wonder You, O God, are the Author of our souls. You take our lives, empty and blank pages, and with a Master’s hand write words into our lives by Your Spirit. Once meaningless, our lives become filled with words of God Almighty as You carefully craft our story--YOUR story for us--onto the pages of our soul. And if a writer leaves behind his words, his thoughts, his heart on the pages he’s written, it stands to reason that as You write our lives, our stories, into us, Your hand leaves behind Your heart. I have been marked and filled by the very words and plans of God. I can no longer be the same. Though my life was once meaningless, empty, and blank, God’s hand has left his mark on me, and suddenly I am filled with and covered by meaning. I have been made into something. I have been left beautiful by the Writer’s hand, left with His heart and touch inside me. The Master has written His life into me.

And my story has not yet been finished. Like the remaining pages of this journal, my soul waits for God to finish His work on me. The remaining years of my life have not been written on yet. But I know one thing: the only hand I want to finish my story is that of Jesus Christ. Write meaning into my heart, O God, and leave me forever marked by You, the Author and Finisher of my faith. On my dying day, I want Your hands to be the ones to write “The End,” and for you to look at the pages of my life, written only by Your hand, and I pray that you say, “It is good.” And then You will welcome me into Your Kingdom, where the best story is waiting to be written, a story that has no end. Even the very reason I may enter Your kingdom is because Jesus Christ has written, with his blood, the word "Redeemed" across my soul.

So, Father, on these days of frustration and tears and sorrow, I will do my best not to despair. For my story is not yet over. Your hands are still writing, and these days and moments would not have been unless You had planned to perfectly weave them into the rest of my story. Today has set the stage for Tomorrow, my story that is still untold--but not unknown to You. So as I weep, I will try to rejoice. And as I am discouraged, I will try to be brave. I will wait, with hope and trust, because I know my story has not been finished yet.

And I know Who holds the pen.

Indonesia Earthquake Kills Over 3,000

I suppose most of you have heard about the earthquake in Indonesia, a 6.3, that hit in central Java only yesterday. The death toll is over 3,000 now, and that number is expected to rise as well. Please pray for the people there who are experiencing such loss and tragedy. It is often during tragedy that God can best move to bring people into his kingdom--I pray that it would be so now. My heart breaks, but I continue to pray that God will use this situation to show his glory before the nations. I hope you will pray with me.

To read the news article on the story, please click on the link below:
CNN.com article: "Indonesia Earthquake Kills Over 3.000"

Just to drop by...

I just thought I would drop in to leave a little update on here. The last few days have been pretty nice; it's been so great to be at home and just relax. I went by my sister's school library the other day and checked out nine books to read...I was so excited! So I've been doing a lot of reading the last few days, which is nice. I've also been working out at home, running errands with my mom, and hanging out some with my sister. Being home really is wonderful!

And I have to say, today was one of the prettiest days I'd seen in a long time. Clear blue skies, just the right smattering of white clouds, the most beautifully blue ocean, and exquisitely clear views of the mountains in the distance and the lush green hills surrounding our house. It was lovely! It's hard to imagine how beautiful God must be, how beautiful Heaven must be, if there is already such beauty here on the Earth that He created. God's holiness fills the earth, if only we will stop and see it. I'll close with one of my favorite quotes:

Earth's crammed with heaven
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees takes off his shoes.
The rest sit around it and pluck blackberries.
-Elizabeth Barret Browning

I'm Home!

Hello super-cool people! I guess that most of you realize by now that I am finally home (maybe because you are psychic, or maybe you can just read the title of this post!). It is fabulous to be back in Asia, and it is fabulous to be back with my family. Have I mentioned lately how awesome and amazing my family is? It is such a blessing to be with them. I am loving this great, humid, tropical heat; and it is definitely exciting that it has already rained twice in my first 24 hours back! Did I mentioned that I love rain? Especially Asia rain! America rain just isn't the same. It's not usually as heavy, and it doesn't last as long; and more often than not, if you play in it you freeze afterwards. You don't freeze here in Asia (hello, tropics?!), so you can feel free to run around in the rain as much as you'd like without the fear of pneumonia. Anyways, I do like any kind of rain, and I don't really mean to put down rain in America (because, as I've said before, we have some amazing thunderstorms in Texas), but there is a special place in my heart for Asia rain.

Since I've been back, I've mostly been resting, getting over jet-lag (which actually hasn't been too bad so far), and being with my family. I went to see a movie with my parents yesterday, which was fun. So far today, Mom and Dad are over at the office, and Lindsay has hung around the house waiting to hook up with friends later this afternoon. And what have I been doing? Well, I've had time to have my devotional time, take a shower, eat breakfast, and spend a fair amount of time online checking email and messaging friends on Facebook. I have super great friends; have I mentioned that lately either?

I also just have to say that God is beautiful. He really is. I wish I could begin to tell you what he means to me and the way his love and presence have changed my life. Anything good about me comes from him: he has seen me through the storms of life and the valleys I have had to walk through, and he has also rejoiced with me when I caught glimpses of blue skies or could finally stand on mountains. He is beautiful! And he has made me who I am. Anywhere I am in the world, I can always feel at home because I am always in the presence of God, who is the truest "home" my heart has ever known. I am blessed to be a daughter of God. May his love make the same kind of difference in you, wherever you are in life.

Singapore

I'm in the airport at Singapore, and I'm almost home!

Just had to let you know. :-)

Have a blessed day!

Wisdom of Shakespeare

This was the quote I was trying to find the other day. I think it's so true.

We, ignorant of ourselves,
Beg often our own harms, which the wise pow'rs
Deny us for our good; so find we profit
By losing of our prayers.
-William Shakespeare (in Antony and Cleopatra)

Almost home

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I survived last week. I wasn't sure it was possible (oh me of little faith!), but all things are possible in Christ. I not only managed to survive finals, but I also managed to pack and move my dorm room (minus the one suitcase I'm taking home) into another house. It's a daunting task, especially for a person like me who hates packing/moving. Seriously. It totally stresses me out, despite--or because of?--the fact that I've done it countless times in my life. But it's done! Yay!

I've been at my grandparents' house in Dallas since Friday afternoon. I got to spend Friday afternoon with them before they left to see one of my cousins' college graduation. So I've had the last couple of days to myself, which has been nice. I have completely kicked back and relaxed as a reward for the stress of last week. For example, I went to see a movie yesterday, and then I shopped at one of my favorite Christian bookstores (not just for me, though, but also for birthday presents), and then I had my favorite Subway sandwhich while watching Shirley Temple movies last night. I know, I'm living the good life. Anyways, it was fun. Today I went to my grandparents' church for their service, which was good, and since then, I've had lunch, watched another Shirley Temple movie, done laundry, and tried to figure out why I'm not receiving email. (I know, all of you are now dying to live my amazingly exciting life)

A highlight has been listening to the new Hillsong United CD that I bought yesterday, United We Stand. I absolutely LOVE Hillsong United, and Hillsong in general, so this has been a treat for me. I watched the 45 minute DVD portion of it with some of their songs shown live in concert, and it was actually a really neat time to just sit and worship. God is truly amazing. If you're interested in hearing some pretty amazing, passionate, God-praising songs (both the slow ones that make you stand in awe and the loud, fast ones that make you jump up and down), this is a an excellent CD to check out.

By the way, I go home tomorrow. Yup, that's right: home. As in, to Malaysia to see my family. And yes, I am super excited! It will be so great to be back, especially after this semester. My family has been one of my biggest supports through everything I've dealt with this last semester, and they are constantly there to lean on and to pray for me. God constantly blesses me through them, and I couldn't be more thankful. I love and admire all three of them, Mom, Dad, and Lindsay! And Lindsay will be graduating in the first week of June (as Valedictorian, no less!), and I can hardly believe my baby sister is getting so old. Anyways, I am excited to be almost home!

Oh...and Happy Mother's Day!

I hope all of you have a blessed week and continue to have your lives touched and changed by the God of the Universe. Blessings on you all.

Merapi

Please be in prayer for these people.

CNN.com article:
Indonesian volcano threatens 20,000

One to go

Well, friends, I am smack-dab in the middle of finals week. Fortunately, I just have one final left! Very exciting. I took one of my finals last week, and when I went to take the one I had today, my teacher told me that, because of my grade average in the class, I didn't have to take the final at all! That was definitely super exciting. Now I've just finished studying for my final tomorrow, so I'm set to relax a little bit for the rest of the day. Or pack up my room. Whichever one I feel like doing. :-)

I can't believe that another school year is almost over. I can't wait to go home and see my family! I leave in less than a week, and I am totally pumped. I'm particularly excited about seeing my sister graduate, especially since she will be valedictorian for her class! I'm really proud of her. It will be great to be back in Asia (I am totally looking forward to that Asian food!) and being wtih my family again.

I had found this awesome quote from Shakespeare that I wanted to post, but now I can't figure out where I wrote it down. Oh well. I will have to look it up and post it later.

I hope all of you have a fabulous day!

Storms

Well, I've discovered that my good intentions of starting to write regularly on my blog are being somewhat thwarted by the fact that I no longer have a computer. Therefore, if I want to post on my blog I have to go steal another friend's computer, and I feel bad about stealing. (You know, the whole "thou shalt not steal" thing) But right now, I am at one of my most favorite places in the whole world--M&M's farm--and I can use the computer to my heart's content. At least for the next ten minutes, whichever comes first. So I just thought I would drop by to say that I truly haven't forgotten about my blog. I will actually be home soon--yes, really home!--so I will be able to post more regularly in a little over a week. I am very excited!

I especially want to thank all of you who have left comments expressing your encouragement that I'm starting my blog up. It's so good to hear! And it does encourage me to keep going with it.

Well, to be briefly newsy, school is almost out. I had one final exam this week and will have two next week; and then on Monday morning of the 15th, I am flying home to go see my family! I am super excited. It will be great to be home. In the mean time, I just have to finish my classes and pack up my room...no big deal.

By the way, we have had several major storm systems moving through the area. Last night, three of my friends here at the farm (Matt, Matt, and Debbie) and I watched this AMAZING lightening storm. It was so incredible. It was beautiful, but it was also awesome and somewhat terrifying...a lot like God, I think. Facing nature like that, in all its beauty and wildness, brings you back a little closer to God's character. He is so often watered down. Yes, he is the God who calms the waters...but he is also God of the storm, in all its fierceness. He is good; he is beautiful; he is terrible.

He is God.

May He bless you this week.