A good day...a God day

There have been some rough spots in life lately, but today's been a good day. You know why? 'Cause it's been a God day. A day where God made it a point to point himself out to me in the every-day-stuff. And God really can be found anywhere when you're looking for him. That's what I am trying to make my focus of late: simply God. Not me, not my friends, not relationships, not my life or my worries...but God. Not my interests, but his. Not my desires, but his. Not my plans or agendas, but his. And, oh, how I fail so often. But I'm trying. And as I try, he grants grace, and he gives peace.

What a joy to be His.
May you have a God day.

A new week

Well, another week has begun. I don't know where all these weeks are flying off to! My days blur together. This last weekend was fun, but hectic, and I managed to be brilliant and put off writing three papers so that I had to get up this morning at 4:00 AM just to finish them for my 9:00 class. I know; absolutely brilliant of me. But God is good and helped me to actually wake up--which as I found out was a miracle in and of itself because my alarm was set to only make a single beep...and somehow that woke me up! And God helped me actually finish all those papers. He is good, even when we are slightly dim-witted.

I find myself feeling dim-witted a lot lately. God is truly patient and kind with me as I sort through all of life's difficulties and confusions. He is making all things new, even in me, even in my foolishness. Oh the beautiful paradox of God! His power is greatest in my weakness. (Hallelujah...because I'm weak a lot!) It's hard to trust in the unseen. I actually wrote a song today somewhat based on that. You may be tired of all my songs, but it's the most succint way of sharing with you one of the many things God has been teaching me lately. So here you go:

I Choose to Believe


A question in the dark
Hiding in my deepest of hearts
Lord, I’ve seen so much pain
Have You gone so far away?
When we choose to trust the unseen
It’s only on You that we can lean

And I know that You are near
And I know that You count every tear
And I know if I pray, You will always hear

And you promised me...

That you would never leave
That you would never turn away from me
You take me as I am
And say I’ve just begun when I think I’ve reached my end
So I choose to believe

I have been called
To see beyond these earthly walls
With You there is so much more
That we can be living for
When we choose to trust the unseen
We are choosing to trust the God of everything

There is a love waiting to overflow
There is unending peace that we can know
There is more than our present pain
For God will give joy again
That’s what I choose to believe

A song

I got to share with my university church group tonight about my trip this summer to the tsunami affected area. I think it went really well. After I had shared, I showed a Power Point presentation and I sang a song I had written for that area. I thought I'd share the lyrics with you (even if you can't hear the music, you can try to imagine it!):

A world washed away
Leaving terror and great grief
I can hardly stand to look around
Heart wounds left open
And families left broken
Too much loss to understand

And I know, yes I know
That the God of the Ocean will wash away all their tears
And I know, yes I know
That seeds of salvation are being planted all around
And a harvest will arise from the now desolate ground

Oh send Your waves of mercy over this land
Send out earthquakes of Your love
Send out waves of righteousness from Your hand
And shower down peace from above
Send Your waves

As we gaze upon
All that must be done
Oh, Lord, what can we do?
Will we be faithful
And will we be truthful
When we say we’ll follow You?

Oh, I know, yes I know
That You want us to love and wash away all their tears
And I know, yes I know
That You want us to go, bringing hope in their pain
And You want us to be faithful to pray, and to pray
That You would...

Send Your waves of mercy over this land
Father, send out earthquakes of Your love
Send out waves of righteousness from Your hand
And shower down peace from above
Send Your waves

There are too many hearts left broken
God, how Your own heart must break
And I believe that You have spoken
To ask if we’ll love them for Your sake

Oh send Your waves of compassion over us
Shake us with earthquakes of Your love
Send us out on a mission from Your hand
To bring Your healing from above
Send out us
Send Your waves
Send out us
Let us be Your waves

God never said

Well, Kirstin and Christina convinced me...and I finally signed up on Facebook! Seriously, it is totally addicting! But it's fun, and a great way to keep in touch with friends. I've been going back and finding all these friends I grew up with in Asia, or kids I went to school with over there but have lost touch with...it's really cool!

Speaking of friends: Kirstin, Christina, Melissa, Kelsey...all you guys are awesome! You rock my face off!

I want to thank God for how good and patient he is with me. I am learning and growing...I despair sometimes of ever getting to where I wish I could be. But it's all about the journey, isn't it? And God never says we can't ever mess up; he just asks us to give it to him when we do. God never said we have to always be perfect; he just asks that we let him transform us. God never said we have to have it all figured out; he just asks us to know HIM, who does have it figured out. God never said it all would be easy; but he promises it will be worth it. God never said we would know the future; but he promises to hold our futures in his hands. God never said we had to endlessly struggle towards him; but he does call us to surrender to him.

What God did say is that he will never forsake us. That's what I'm holding onto.

I thought I'd put up some pictures from this last weekend! This was Saturday afternoon right before we all went to Ashley's birthday party. These are probably my four best girl friends: (top-bottom, left-right) Christina, Kirstin, Kelsey, me, and Melissa. 

This was last Friday night when we went out to go dancing at the country-western place. Here I am with two gorgeous girls, who also happen to be two of my best friends, Kirstin and Christina! 

This is me and the old man, Harrold, who asked me to dance five or six times. He was a really sweet old man! And, boy, does he like to dance. :-) 

Here is Kelsey and me dancing the night away! 

Fun weekend

Well, this weekend has been a nice one. It's been a good time just to be with friends and enjoy life. Friday night, a big group of us went to this country-western dance place. It wasn't a club or anything; it actually was a really family-friendly environment. It was set up in this old high school, and a band played really old country music. It was a lot of fun! We did a line dance that was really fun, too. And the funny part of the evening was that this really old man decided he really enjoyed dancing with me, because he ended up dancing with me five or six times! He actually would go request a song (he liked waltzes) and then come get me to dance with him. He seemed like a sweet old man. His wife had died in '98, so I felt sorry for him. He said he came to that place every Friday night just because he enjoyed dancing with "you kids." It was cute. After that, Kelsey, Lance, and I went by Dairy Queen; and that was fun.

Yesterday I took things pretty easy. At 5:00, we went to Ashley's birthday party at Chili's, and that was fun. That evening, Nick, Lance, and I played tennis, and then we met up with Kirstin and Christina later to go play Rollyball (our own special game!). It was a fun evening.

That's about it for now...hope all of you also are having a great weekend!

"To make much of You"

Another day in the week is over! And tomorrow's Friday. I love Fridays! They're such a lovely break, a reward for making it through the week.

I actually did something rather out of character for me this morning. I decided to sleep in through chapel, and then I actually went ahead and also skipped my environmental geology class. I know, awful, isn't it?! But I had gotten little sleep the night before (and the night before that), so I finally decided I needed a slow-paced morning. I did go to choir and the rest of my afternoon classes. When I got out at 4:00, Kirstin let me print out something on her printer, and then I ended up staying to watch the last half of a Gilmore Girls episode with her. That was fun! Then we met Christina--that awesome girl!--for supper. Since then, I spent a little time in their rooms talking, and then I've been working on observations of a passage of Scripture that I have to write an exegesis for in my Methods of Biblical Interpretation Class. It has taken me at least an hour or two! It's such a detailed process to find details.

And THEN...I had such a lovely surprise! I had a call from an old friend, probably one of my oldest and dearest friends: Terri-Lynn! Most of you know about her, but for those of you who don't, she and I have been friends since we were 9, and we went through most of school together. We hadn't talked in a several months, so it was wonderful to catch up with her. She's starting nursing school now to get her RN, and I'm so excited for and proud of her! It was a blessing to talk with her and see how she is and what God's doing in her life. Old friends--and any friends, for that matter!--are gifts from God.

Speaking of friends, I just took a break from writing this and went up to Kirstin and Christina's room again to look at an awesome collage they did on their door. On the door to their rooms, they have a bunch of pictures of them and their friends. It was so fun! Those girls are both so beautiful, with great hearts. I am blessed to have them as my friends!

Ah...life. It's hard sometimes, but it can also be so amazing. God is constantly working in beautiful, unexpected ways. I think God delights in doing the unexpected. He delights in giving us things that amaze us and surprise us with his goodness. I can just imagine him weaving out beautiful plans over our lives. And, no, we may not be able to see them yet...but they're there, and he's there. All he asks us to do is wait and trust in the unseen. It is hard to wait, and hard to trust. It is hard to be patient for or unafraid of an unseen future. But it is our joy to wait expectantly, even when we can't understand what God's doing, to see the beautiful future God holds for those he has called.

I've been listening to a CD by Stephen Curtis Chapman, and one of the songs on there is called "Much of You." It's about living our lives to make much of God. Really, that's what life is about. Every day, every action, every thought, needs to be about how I can pull back into the shadow of the cross and lift up the glory of who God is and what he's doing in our lives. What a beautiful purpose in life! I would love for people to look at my life and only see a lifting-up of God's glory. That's what this song is about, and I thought I'd close by sharing the chorus with you:

I want to make much of You, Jesus
I want to make much of Your love
I want to live today to give You the praise
That You alone are so worthy of
I want to make much of Your mercy
I want to make much of Your cross
I give You my life
Take it and let it be used
To make much of You

May God make you confident and sure of the beautiful future he holds for you. And may that confidence and hope allow you to live a life that makes much of him.

Reminders of love

God is so good. He really is. When life is painful, it still can't take away from God's goodness; sometimes it just accentuates it. Doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt unbearably, but God is always still good in the midst of it.

Today God totally blessed me through a friend of mine. We had several talks today that just really touched my heart. It gave me a chance to really open up and talk about some things on my heart, and as she listened, understood, and encouraged me, I felt the heart of God. It was like he sent me a blessing in my friend, he sent me a part of himself. It was beautiful. He provides at just the right moments. Often he provides in ways we weren't looking for or asking for...sometimes it's because he wants to give us something better than what we had hoped for. He's good that way, isn't he?

The rest of today was pretty good. I was pretty tired today due to some late night cirumstances last night, but I've made it through today very well. Our church's university group met tonight for our Wednesday night Bible study that we've just started up. It's exciting to see how our group is growing; we've been praying for this for the last two years! It's neat to see.

I think that God is always loving us in some way or another. Sometimes we look for the supernatural experiences to remind us of how he loves us, and sometimes we miss the obvious expressions of his love. Like the friend who listens and loves you just when you need it. Or the phone call from your mom just when you could use someone to talk to. Or the most beautiful blue sky that just makes you feel peaceful, or the wind that seems to soothe your soul. Or the circumstances that make you laugh and smile. He loves us through the everyday stuff in our lives. He loves us through his word, He loves us through prayer. He loves us just by reminding us that he is good, and that he is God. He loves us just by reminding us that he is love.

And that love makes each day worth living.

"I entrust my spirit into your hands"

I keep thinking today is Wednesday, for some odd reason, but it's really Tuesday. (Duh, I know) Tuesdays are my long days where I leave my room at 9:00 and get back at 4:00, with about half an hour in there to squeeze in lunch. So I'm pretty tired now, but it's been a good day. We had our first chapel service this morning, and it was awesome! There was a group there who led worship, and so for the whole service we just got to sing and praise God. I loved it! It was a really special time, kind of a refresher before the day started. God used the songs just to remind me of how good and faithful he is, whatever our circumstances in life may be.

The rest of my day went well. My classes are all pretty interesting, especially my English literature class. My professor in there is just absolutely amazing. He's an amazing teacher, but he's also passionate and inspiring. Choir was fun today; we have some really neat pieces of literature we're doing. They're so fun! So my day finally was over, and I did a little homework, took care of a couple of things, and then got to eat supper with Kirstin and Christina. Then I worked some more on homework. In my Methods of Biblical Interpretation class, we are learning to make observations about passages of Scripture. Now, observations are not interpretation or application; rather, they are simply stating the really obvious things about the passage that we almost always tend to skip over. It's been interesting to slow down and read the verse(s) over and over, finding that just when I think I can't get another observation out of the passage, another one jumps out at me. It's been neat.

Random thought: last night, I was reading in Luke about when Jesus died on the cross. And at that last moment, he shouts, "Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!" (this is Luke 23:46, in case you wanted to know) And for some reason, that really struck me. At Jesus' darkest hour, when everything seems to be against him, when he has literally only a breath left to give, what does he do? Just take that breath and die? Or mutter something about how unfair his situation is? Or cry over how much pain he's in? No. In his last moment, against all odds, he takes the last breath he has to shout out, "I entrust my spirit into your hands!" Now, I know I've heard a lot of interpretations about why Jesus cries this out, but I had never really felt it very personally before now. And this is my personal interpretation: when everything seemed to say that Jesus had "lost," he shouts out that he still trusts God, that he's placing his very soul into the Father's hands. I know I don't tend to do that when I feel like I am at the end of myself. I want to sit down and cry, or grieve how hard the situation is, or even resent the painful circumstances. But what if, instead, in utter defiance against all the hardships of life, I cried out--not just cried out, but shouted, as Christ did--"I trust you, God! I entrust my spirit into your hands!"

I've been learning a lot about difficult situations. I've felt rather overcome of late. I struggle through hard circumstances, trying to remind myself that this is somehow all for my good, that it's going to test and grow my faith (which all of that, as true as it is, doesn't always help a person feel better). And then it occurred to me one day: what if trials aren't just to grow my faith? Or maybe they are, but in a way I never suspected. Faith isn't about enduring; when I think of testing my faith, I think I translate that into "can you hold out and believe you'll somehow make it through?" Faith isn't about painful endurance; faith isn't about holding onto the fact that someday it will all be over; faith isn't about believing you can make it. The realization I've come to, or at least this is true for me, is that the faith that's being tested is my faith in God's LOVE. God's not trying to push me into 10 mile runs to see if I can endure without fainting. He's saying, "Here, let me show you how much I love you. Let this strengthen your faith in the fact that I am a loving God." Or at least that's the conclusion I've come up with. Feeling like you're being tested so your faith can "endure," is rather lonely and painful; but feeling like the trials are giving your faith an opportunity to grow as you see how loving God is...well, that gives hope. That faith leads to a hope in God's love. That's worth fighting for.

"And these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."

The other night several of us were hanging out in the lobby while Kirstin was taking vital signs (more on that in a sec!). So here's a picture of Christina and me!  

And here is Kirstin, who just started nursing school. We are all so proud of her!! Hehe, and she's been practicing taking people's vital signs, so we all got to be her guinea pigs (which was really fun!). Here she is doing Lance's blood pressure. Doesn't she look like a pro?!
 

And here's Kirstin taking Kelsey's temperature and heart rate! 

This is from last weekend when Rachel held a summer-birthday party for all of us who had birthdays this summer. Most of these people are all my best friends! (Top-bottom, left-right): Rachel G., Christina, Kelsey, Rachel A., Lance, Ashley, Jessica, Kirstin, Crystal, Melissa, and me. The four of us girls in the front row sitting down were all the "birthday girls!" 

Focus

So I promise to make more regular updates, and what do I do? Promptly run off for a weekend so that I don't! Apologies again.

This weekend was really neat. I got to go with our school's Baptist Student Ministry (BSM) to a state-wide collegiate convention called Focus. It was a really great time. I got to meet a lot of new people who were really great, and the convention itself was really amazing. The worship was really great, led by Watermark. And the speaker was great, too. The first night he talked about communion with God, and how sometimes we let competence for God drown out our communion with Him. The second night, he talked about how to recognize your purpose or calling under God. That night had a missions focus. Then this morning he talked about what it meant to truly go back and live a focused life. So it was a good trip, and a great time to refocus.

I'm about to run out now to go eat supper at our church, so I'll check back with you later! God bless.

Apologies

Hi everyone! I have to say I am so sorry for not updating more. Life has been hectic, as well as trying in some areas, so I haven't been posting as much lately. I am here to announce that all of that will be ammended! Starting now, I will be updating more regularly. Thanks for being patient with me! And thanks for keeping up with me. More to come!